As most of you know, I've struggled with my weight ever since middle school when I was called "tubby" for the first time. I've come to realize that is the problem. Struggling. Worrying what others think of me. Sad with my appearance.
Why? Why have I given everyone so much power over me for so long? My husband thinks I'm beautiful. Isn't his opinion more important than everyone else? God "fearfully and wonderfully" made me. He doesn't make mistakes. His thoughts are MOST important. But I've dismissed them for so long in favor of society and what the media's opinions of overweight people. Ugly. Lazy. Careless. Stupid. Fad diets and thousands of different workout routines have flooded the market.
Why? Why have I allowed them to affect what I think of myself? I am none of those things. What am I? Loving wife. Cherishing mother. Hard-working home-maker. Creative baker. Caring daughter. Thoughtful sister. Child of the Living God. THESE are the things that define me. Not my weight or wrinkle status or greying hair or facial blemishes.
I do realize being overweight is a health concern. But as much as I tried to convince myself that was my motivation for losing weight, it wasn't the truth. Right now, I'm healthy. Losing weight right now is more preventative than anything else and even that isn't a guarantee. People in the "healthy" weight range have heart attacks, get diagnosed with diabetes or cancer, and have strokes everyday.
Sunday, for the first time I can remember, I looked in the mirror and thought I was beautiful. And I hope that viewpoint sticks.
